Talk:Glassheart Tour/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Status (talk · contribs) 04:40, 14 July 2013 (UTC)

First lookthrough

• 1 uncategorized redirect and 1 connection issue

  They both work though?  — AARON • ^TALK

Lead

• "headline concert tour" → "headlinining concert tour"
• "...in promotion of her third studio album, Glassheart (2012)" → This makes it sound like it was the second tour to support Glassheart.

  Should I say that her first tour was in support of her first two albums.

• "previous tour The Labyrinth (2010) only had UK dates." → "her previous tour, The Labyrinth (2010), only visited the UK."
• It might be nice to mention the opening act of the tour.

Background and development

• "Lewis launched her third studio album" → Not sure about the use of the word "launched"
• "Lewis' completion of her first tour The Labyrinth." → "Lewis' completion of her first tour, The Labyrinth."
• "The album title "Glassheart" was inspired from a conversation that Lewis had with Tedder." → Since it's an album title, it should be in italics and not quotation marks. Also, we haven't been introduced to Ryan Tedder yet.
• "During the conversation Tedder asked Lewis..." → "During the conversation, Tedder asked Lewis..."
• Repetitive saying both "supporting tour of the same name" and "The tour is named after the album".
• "and although Lewis said she is not Kanye West's "biggest fan"" → The lead introduces who he is, while the article itself does not.
• Shouldn't it be noted that the "star-crossed lovers that can't be together" refer specifically to Romeo and Juliet?

  Not seen a source which says so.  — AARON • ^TALK

Critics reviews

• "The Guardian's Malcolm Jack was less impressed. He stated that when Lewis tried to diversify the show by dancing or switching the arrangements, she risked becoming the British diva that pop music forgot." → Combine the two sentences with a semi-colon.
  • Thanks.  — AARON • ^TALK 15:48, 14 July 2013 (UTC)

Second lookthrough

• "The Glassheart Tour was the second headlining concert tour by British recording artist Leona Lewis, in support of her third studio album, Glassheart (2012)." → I suggest: "The Glassheart Tour was the second headlining concert tour by British recording artist Leona Lewis. It was launched in support of her third studio album, Glassheart (2012)." or "The Glassheart Tour was the second headlining concert tour by British recording artist Leona Lewis, launched in support of her third studio album, Glassheart (2012)."
• "English singer-songwriter served as the support act." → Who?
  • Done.  — AARON • ^TALK 21:10, 14 July 2013 (UTC)

Result

• Great article! Passing!  — Statυs (talk, contribs) 21:16, 14 July 2013 (UTC)
  • Thanks :)  — AARON • ^TALK 21:18, 14 July 2013 (UTC)
    • My pleasure!  — Statυs (talk, contribs) 21:19, 14 July 2013 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.